we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize