shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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