what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize