Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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