I faked an abortion last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize