never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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