yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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