Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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