Fine. I'll sleep in my office
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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