he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize