just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
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I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
is it fun? or sober?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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