she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
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I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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