ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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