Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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