Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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