its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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