I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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