I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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