Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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