Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize