are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
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She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were destined to go to rehab together
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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