if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize