you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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