oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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