Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
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How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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