I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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