I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
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You were trust falling into bushes
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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