I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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