he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize