Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize