Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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