I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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