Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize