Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize