We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize