it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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