If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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