His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize