We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
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Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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