Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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