just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize