Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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