my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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