Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize