lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The uberlube is also flammable
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize