Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize