Someone shit on the floor
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i love accidental penises.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize