Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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