I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize