how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
nutella sex= disaster
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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